Today's Women of Age

Lately I’ve watched a number of social media clips of aggrieved men spewing their thoughts about modern women. The overarching theme seems to be that most women of today have been “ruined by liberal feminism” and no longer want to take care of men. “Where are the traditional women?” they moan. And by “traditional” they mean women who even if they have a job outside the home will still do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, etc. at home and provide sex on demand. One guy said, “No I don’t want a mom. Just a woman who will do all the stuff mom did.”

Here’s the thing—modern women aren’t looking to become anyone’s “bang maid” (to put it crudely). They are looking for men who will be equal partners in creating a life together. Sharing responsibilities. Making major decisions together. Respecting each other’s boundaries, needs and wants. Willing to compromise.

Women today expect men to bring more to the table than a paycheck, a penis, and a promise
to take out the garbage.

But some men can’t get their heads around that. Their culture, religion and families have instilled in them a strong sense of male entitlement, of unshakeable male and female gender roles. Women are supposed to take care of men. Regardless of what else is going on in their life.

So as long as men continue to hold onto these views about gender roles and what they believe they are entitled to they will be frustrated and angry with women who won’t fall into line. And they’ll continue to see the feminist movement as the enemy. 

But here’s the thing–feminism doesn’t teach women to hate or disregard men, it teaches women to value themselves. That’s what men don’t get. Feminism teaches women that they have a right to choices and equal opportunities. A right to a career. A right to their own money. A right to bodily autonomy. A right to have children or not. (Plenty of men don’t become fathers and no one thinks less of them. But a woman who chooses not to become a mother is somehow seen as unnatural and selfish.)

There are plenty of women who want to be in a life-long partnership/marriage with a man, but are done “settling.” Done being a lover, mother and maid to a man who gives so little in return. Done being expected to sacrifice. Done having her needs discounted. Women are done.

Women want fulfilling lives with egalitarian partners. Men want women who are compliant servants
tending to their needs.

Sadly this dichotomy of views and wants doesn’t bode well for male-female relationships. Not surprisingly both marriage and child-birth rates are on the decline in the U.S. with some singletons even giving up on dating altogether.

And older previously married women, now widowed or divorced, often choose not to remarry or cohabitate too. Many cite not wanting to give up their freedom, financial independence and peace of mind. Others stressed they do not want to have to clean or cook for a man again or get stuck in a caretaker role. It’s not hard to understand.

It all boils to this subsection of men who believe that women are created to serve them. And now that women are becoming more “disinclined to acquiesce,” men are looking to blame everyone but themselves for their discontent and love-less lives.

And here we are.