Today's Women of Age

We have lived in our current house for 34 years now. It was not a new house when we bought it (built mid WWII), but it’s a sturdy house that had just been renovated so it felt fresh and clean and modern. 

It was not our dream house or even what we considered our “forever home,” but it was sweet little house in a good neighborhood in Silicon Valley that we could afford. Just.

We later added on a family room. Redid the landscape a couple of times. Had to put on a new roof, a new sewer line, a new furnace and a new water heater. (All so boring and costly, but so necessary.) Repainted it twice.

And now we really need to redo the worn-out bathrooms and the decrepit garage. It definitely needs work and my husband’s ideal solution is to move. And ideally move to another (cheaper) state. To a bigger, newer house. To a greener pasture. He envisions a mythical “better life” if we had a better house. 

Here’s the thing…this is home. This is where both of us have lived the longest. It’s where we have raised our daughters. Where our parents and our brothers all have visited at one time or another. Where we have celebrated Christmases and birthdays. Where we have argued and made love and cooked thousands of dinners. It is the place of memories. 

We know its foibles. And it’s the right size for retirement. Single story. 1800+ square feet. Enough room but not too much. Manageable.

Big bonus, we have good weather almost year round. Rarely too hot or too cold. More dry than rainy. Mediterranean weather which allows for a garden filled with roses, salvia and lavender.

We have neighbors we can count on. Good medical care literally down the road. A plethora of grocery stores and restaurants of every culture around every corner. My church of some 30 years is just three miles away. I can successfully run my little online vintage business here because folks here donate posh things to thrift stores.

And most importantly, our two daughters live just four miles away. They are my heart. We see each other at least twice a month and we text and call in between.

A new house, much further away, possibly in another state, would be a blank slate. Could be exciting. And lovely. But lonely too. Starting over. Trying to make friends and rebuild a life. Not what I want to do right now. And frankly, some states have laws and politics that don’t align with my values and morals. So there’s that.

And the truth is every house has pros and cons. Even newer houses can have problems. Switches that don’t work. Wonky plumbing. Leaky windows.

And I think that’s a trap that’s easy to fall into. Even at our age. The perception that life could be better with…a nicer house, a newer car, a better job.

In my mind, this imperfect, full-of-memories house is where I want to age in place. I don’t need a “dream house.” Frankly I am grateful for the life we had and continue to have here in this house, in this neighborhood, in this state.