Today's Women of Age

A few days ago my eldest daughter came over for a mid-week visit. We had a wonderful time chatting, feasting on vegetarian focaccia from a local bakery and taking a short walk in the sunshine to a nearby park. It was delightful and it felt like my daughter had given me a gift–which she had–the gift of her presence.

But when she left, I immediately burst into tears. And at that moment I couldn’t have told you why I was crying after such a lovely visit. I was perplexed by my emotional state.

When I pulled myself together a few ideas came to mind, most notably the fact that I no longer take tomorrow for granted. The older you get the more you realize life is uncertain. Things happen. Sometimes terrible things. You only need to check the news to know this.

And the older you get the more you realize that in reality life is also short. When you are young, days seem ridiculously long and years stretch before you like a huge blank canvas to infinity. You remember that feeling?? Like Christmas and your birthday were never going to arrive?!

Then in a blink decades have zipped past and you are middle-aged, then a senior and perhaps you make it to the elderly category.

I am in the senior stage. Active, independent, running my vintage Etsy store, relatively healthy, but also dealing with some limitations. I don’t drive after dark unless it’s a familiar route. Stairs are a nightmare for my knees. And my hearing is a bit rubbish (partially due to multiple ruptured eardrums in my youth) though I have yet to get the hearing aids I need. Not out of pride, just haven’t made it a priority.

But let me get back to the main point. Life is uncertain–at every age and stage–but certainly it’s more precarious as you get older. And you live with the knowledge that more of your life is behind you than in front. Frankly, it’s a bit unsettling.

Which makes time spent with loved ones all the more precious.

Recently one of my dearest friends flew in from back east for a four-day visit. We hadn’t seen each other for at least four years and having her here in California was in a word delightful. We ate delicious food, antiqued, enjoyed the ocean in Half Moon Bay and talked. Talked for hours and hours, all the things we don’t say on the phone. At the end of her trip as she headed back to the airport to fly home, I realized it would be at least another year, likely much longer, till we saw each other again and it broke my heart. Still, our time together was truly a gift and I treasure it.

And these recent special moments with friends and family reinforce that with the uncertainly and shortness of life I need to be more mindful of how I spend my days. I need to make time for the people I care about and the activities that feed my soul. It’s so easy just to veg out and waste hours scrolling through social media (or is that just me??) or to waste time worrying about things I can’t change. But I am determined to make the most of the time I have– to carpe diem!

How about you? Are you making the most of your time?