Today's Women of Age

Several years ago the thought popped into my head that I needed to go on a retreat. I felt stale and tired and was likely depressed. And many of us get like that from time to time. There may be no terrible external circumstances or triggers, just a weariness. One of those I-need-a-break thoughts came as I was vacuuming our living room and wondered how many times had I vacuumed this carpet over the decades we’ve lived here. I knew it was in the thousands–about 3,500 if I had to guess! And for some reason that made me feel incredibly sad (and old). That’s when I knew I needed time away by myself to recharge.

Thankfully I once worked for a religious order and they were willing to let me stay for a few nights at their retreat center. It’s a lovely, quiet property across from the Pacific ocean and after just a couple of days there I drove back home refreshed and ready to return to my real life.

In reality my retreats are a combination of mini-vacation and spiritual reflection. In the morning after breakfast I head off to do a little antiquing. Afterwards I’ll grab lunch at a nearby restaurant or get takeout from a deli. Back at the retreat property I enter my contemplative time with my Bible and journal in hand. If the weather’s nice I’ll sit outside. I start by trying to quiet my thoughts while breathing deeply and relaxing. I look at the nature around me. Then I do my version of Lectio Divina–I choose a psalm or other passage to read (and reread), then listen, pray and start journaling. While at first my written thoughts are mundane eventually something more profound appears–an idea or an admonition or a word of comfort–and I feel seen by God.

The afternoons may also include an amble around the property or a walk down the hill and across the road to the beach. (There is something about watching the waves come to shore on a vast, seemingly endless ocean, that makes one’s problems seem far away.) Once back in my room I may read a bit of Henri Nouwen or poetry from one of the Sisters I knew and adored. (Sister Kay’s ashes now fertilize a tree on the property.)

Evening includes a simple dinner with the Sisters who live there and lively, interesting conversations.

These retreats are satisfying and nourishing on many fronts!

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Things to Consider

Where I live there are a host of lovely retreat centers (mostly Catholic) within 30 miles of me, some which would accommodate a solo guest, but I prefer to travel a bit further (90 miles) to stay with the Sisters I know, in an area I love. While I am not Catholic, I am welcomed, and I think that may be true for many centers. Your faith tradition is typically not an issue other than as a non-Catholic you’ll likely not be allowed to partake of the Eucharist if the center offers it.

Centers often offer guided and group retreats if you prefer something more structured or want an experience with companions.

It’s best to remove digital distractions. While I have my cell phone with me to take photos, I keep it on silent. My laptop is with me too for writing and later watching a show before I go to bed. But ideally I try to limit their use and stay more unplugged.

Overall, make this experience what you want and need. This is your time to nurture your body and soul.

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Since my first retreat I’ve tried to schedule one every year. It’s a gift I give to myself to regain perspective and rejuvenate my spirit. I am thrilled to have one coming up in a few weeks!