Today's Women of Age

In the U.S. as men grow older they are often attributed with having more wisdom and experience and are considered distinguished or ruggedly handsome. They are still seen as sexually attractive and valuable to society. Older women on the other hand tend to be deemed as “over the hill,” unattractive, and if we are past our child-bearing years, our value drops exponentially. We start to become invisible.

This explains the thriving multi billion-dollar beauty and cosmetics industry and the rise in anti-aging products. I know because I have succumbed. Well, it’s hard not to. We have been brainwashed to glorify youth and youthful appearances. I once bought an expensive eye cream to help lessen the wrinkles around my eyes and I can categorically say it did not work. I’ve bought pricey lip balms that were supposed to plump up my thinning lips and not much happened other than a little tingling. What a waste of money.

I think this societal bias is also why you’ll find younger and younger women jumping on the plastic surgery bandwagon in an attempt to forestall aging and create what they think will be a more appealing visage. But once you start down that road there’s regular (costly) maintenance to keep up the look and frankly sometimes the “new look” is not a better one.

Some women have taken it to an extreme where they no longer even look like themselves. I wonder what actress Meg Ryan would have looked like today if she hadn’t tinkered so much with her appearance.

Photos courtesy of Country Living Magazine and Watch MOJO.

And this current presidential administration has given rise to the “Mar-a-Lago face”–super tight skin, exaggerated cheeks and lips, slim noses, and white teeth with a slathering of makeup–with a number of high-profile women undergoing multiple procedures to get “the look.” Yikes! Why???

On the flip side former supermodel Kim Alexis (now age 65) has made the choice to age gracefully. Now granted it helps when you have great genetics on your side but I find her decision refreshing. She is into exercise and healthy eating and letting nature take its course. (Fun fact, we went to high school together!)

All that said I am not opposed to cosmetic procedures. Not at all. Some years back I had some broken blood vessels on my face zapped to help reduce the redness and it made a difference. And I’ve had fillers for scarring. But I’ve done these little procedures for myself. Because it made me happy.

But.

But the same doc who did this has asked more than once when (not if) he can “do my eyes.” He wants to give me eyelid surgery that will fix the droop caused by natural aging. Yes, I would look younger, fresher, but I don’t want to go down that route. And frankly I don’t have a lifestyle where I feel the pressure to do procedures like that.

That said when meeting new people I tend to be cagey about my age. (Most of my life I have looked a little younger than I am.) I know if this new person were to learn my age, I would be seen as an “old lady.” Someone who is not very interesting or worth getting to know. I might be coddled. Talked down to. (Sad, but this is how I think.)

But the current kicker in this aging bias against women is that male podcasters, influencers and even some religious leaders are very focal about sharing their belief that woman over 30 are “past it.” The late Charlie Kirk expressed that women over 30 are no longer in their prime and not as attractive in the dating pool. All I can say is shame on all of you for perpetuating the belief that a female’s only worth and attractiveness is a young womb and her ability to have children.

And shame on any culture and society that sees the natural aging of women as a failing.