Inspired by the practice of Swedish Death Cleaning, I’m slowly divesting our home of the “extra bits.” And it’s been easy getting rid of extra pots and pans, dish towels, clothes and the like. But two areas are particularly difficult–inherited and sentimental items.
We may have wonderful memories attached to these items or they belonged to people we love who have now passed. Letting go of them seems disrespectful or indicates that the person is no longer important to us. And of course neither is true.
But if the items are just being stored and not appreciated, isn’t it time to let them go? And for me the answer is YES. I have finally reached a place where I am letting go of more “special pieces.”
These four cobalt blue depression glass plates belonged to my paternal grandmother who died when I was a baby. I honestly can’t remember how I ended up with these, but I did. For a time I used them for dessert at special occasions and then I got out of the habit. And now I am delighted that my eldest daughter wants them!
This one still makes me tear up. This is a quilt my maternal grandmother made for me in 1978. She chose the colors and the pattern and while it is sweet as can be and beautifully made, it seemed more appropriate for a young girl’s room than for a college student with a colorful cotton hippie bedspread. And in all these decades I don’t remember ever using or displaying it.
I was hoping one of my daughters would want it but they have their own quilts that she made them. So I finally listed it in my Etsy store. It’s a bit of a wrench, but I also feel in my heart that I would rather someone enjoy her work then have it remain hidden any longer in my linen cupboard.
Another special piece is my mother’s diamond ring. Growing up my mother wore her engagement ring and wedding band all the time and eventually the bands wore thin in the back. At some point she had a jeweler take the diamonds and redesign a new ring for her. The brutalist design is intriguing, but the small diamonds get lost in the design and frankly it’s not my style and I rarely wear it. And by rarely I mean once a year.
I’ve offered it to my daughters but it’s not their style either. So do I keep it and let someone else deal with it when I die or do I sell it now? Obviously it’s not taking up room in my house. It’s a ring and it was my beloved mother’s (she died some 23 years ago), but on the other hand, wouldn’t it be better to have someone else enjoy it? But if I sell it, where do I sell it? I could put it on Etsy or eBay, but there’s a lot of information I don’t know–such as the quality/size of the diamonds and the quality/amount of gold? So how do I list or price it fairly? At this point I’m leaning towards selling it on consignment with one of our local jewelers. They have the expertise. I don’t.
But as I work through these type of items I am not getting rid of everything. And unless you have a compelling reason, you don’t need to either.
The little heart paper mache box was a gift from my grandmother when I was a teen and it has traveled with me all these years and I always find a space to display it. Likewise this variety of inherited books which includes Aunt Janet’s Nancy Drews, Aunt Mary’s dictionary won in a spelling bee, Mom’s poetry college textbook and Gram’s domino book–these have always found a spot on my shelves.
Though, that said, I am going to sell some of the Nancy Drew books and just keep a select few. All of them are circa 1930s and some likely have value, so I’ll need to devote time to research these.
Since I am under no time constraint (like a move) there is no rush and I am taking it slowly. And I think for many of us this is the best approach. Let go when you are ready. In my 50s I wouldn’t have been ready to let some of these go. Now, older, I am. I no longer take for granted that I will have years and years left.
Tips for Letting Go of Inherited and Sentimental Things
- Gather up items you that you are considering.
- Acknowledge the emotions that you feel looking at them. Cry if you need to.
- Consider repurposing or saving part of the item. I had inherited my maternal grandmother’s wedding dress, but the silk was quite damaged in places and not salvageable. In the end I removed the buttons and belt buckle and tossed the dress.
- Take photos of the items.
- Offer items to family and friends if appropriate. It can be much easier letting go of of a piece if you know that someone you love is appreciating it.
- Toss it, donate it or sell it. Ideally once you made the decision to let an item go it’s best to get it out of the house ASAP.
I have realized over time, that it does get easier letting go of inherited and sentimental things. Of all things really. And I am keeping the things that still bring me joy and are part of my life.
What are you letting go of?
Today's Women of Age 
Leave a comment