Today's Women of Age

As females we learn early on that society sees our physical appearance as our biggest asset, which is in itself a sad commentary. And apparently this asset lasts for just a blip along the timeline of our lives. One study said that men achieve peak attractiveness at age 50, while women peak at 18 to 22! Another study found that the most attractive age for women was 28.

Good grief!

Well, it’s no surprise to any of us that men in particular perceive younger women as more attractive and desirable. It’s been this way for a long, long, long time. Still, as I got older I never thought I would become invisible to a wide range of people. It was a genuine surprise.

I hadn’t heard of this phenomenon before–Invisible Women Syndrome–but it explained a lot. Deborah Wood (The Guardian) writes: “My friends and I, from our late 50s onwards, were first gobsmacked then increasingly enraged at being talked over, not served, not replied to, brushed aside and not taken seriously. Small accretions of casual insult that eroded our hard-earned sense of self and agency.”

I resonated with that.

When I googled ways to “not be invisible” as an older woman some of the suggestions were just pathetic because of their assumptions. One suggestion: “Be interesting.”

Pleeze!! Once we get to this age we have so much knowledge and crazy experience we are “interesting” personified. Am I right?! I could talk about my early tech career, working at non-profits, raising children, living in the Tenderloin in San Francisco, travel experiences in Russia and being trapped in Ireland because of volcanic ash. I could talk about faith, current politics, gardening and antiques. On and on.

It’s ridiculous to assume we are not interesting. Or relevant.

Here’s what’ve I realized–I’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve done nothing wrong. Except still be alive in older, aging bodies. We are still smart, curious, beautiful, interesting women.

So.

So, what now? For me I’m just going keep on being me, but with less fear and more of a devil-may-care attitude. I can’t stop aging, but I can stop worrying about what people think and keep living my best life.

How about you?